Nuggets On
managing conflict
How we manage conflict is an essential life skill and no one teaches us how to handle conflict productively. Multiple perspectives around how we can engage in healthy conflict that can lead to better outcomes.
Why some conflict patterns are common
In the previous nugget, Jen speaks about each of us defaulting to one of 4 conflict types. When we are in conflict with another person, they often have one dominant conflict type out of 4. That lends itself to 16 permutations. Jen, however, states that most of the conflict patterns in pairs end up falling into 5 frequently found permutations. She speaks about why this might be the case
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Listening to understand the nuances
Jen speaks about our tendency to look at conflict in simplistic and often binary terms. She speaks about a few techniques we could use to understand the various dimensions of the conflict and the interconnections between the various actors involved in the situation. She suggests that we don’t fall for the simplistic narrative that bubbles up immediately in front of us.
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Down side of too much empathy and collaboration
Jen speaks about the occasional downsides of some traits like empathy and collaboration. As they say, too much of a good thing might be a bad thing. She speaks about situations where it is helpful for us to maintain a healthy distance from what is going on rather than getting deep into it. She also speaks about situations where collaboration might be counter-productive.
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Pattern breaking behaviour and Camp David
Jen shares her perspectives around how we can try different conflict breaking paths for us to get out of the loop. She specifically refers to what President Carter did to reframe the conversations in Camp David where his talks with the then President of Egypt (Anwar Sadat) and the then Prime Minister of Israel (Menachem Begin).
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Tactful separation
Harsh speaks about how he tactfully separated from the rest of the family. He speaks about the role that Mr. Bipin Shah (appointed as a Trusted Mediator) played in moving the conversations forward. He also speaks about how some family events, sometimes, can serve as an opportunity to revive the relationships.
Leaning into the messiness to move forward
David speaks about how we can quick get embroiled in a conflict situation and we need to wade past the swamp to move to a better place. Running away from it rarely yields meaningful outcomes.
