Podcast Themes

Jen speaks about 4 common conflict habits we gravitate to – Blame (externalize the problem), Shame (internalize the problem), Shut down (refuse to have a conversation), Relentlessly Collaborate (proactively work with the other side). She speaks about how we end up developing one of these styles and what happens when we meet another person or entity that has a different conflict habit.

Ethan speaks about the role of rituals in helping us manage chatter. He goes on to speak about how Champions like Rafael Nadal take the help of rituals in managing their mind when they play tennis at the highest level. He also speaks about the role of rituals in coping with transitions.

Ethan suggests that our Mind is often functions like a lens when it looks at a situation while our Inner Voice functions like a Zoom button. We have a choice of whether we want to stay Zoomed In our Out when we deal with a situation.

Ayelet speaks about the four steps involved in Goal setting and what it takes in getting the right balance between inspiration and action orientation of the goal. She also goes on to speak about the roles of approach goals (going towards something) and avoidance goals (moving away from something) and how we can work with the two as we move forward.

Ayelet speaks about how we should think about Goals for the long term. They need to be enough of a stretch but at the same time, they shouldn’t lead us to satisfice or burn out once we get there.

Katy speaks about the magnitude of change that one can typically hope to undertake. She refers to the example of Ben Franklin who decides to make a fresh start after a phase of debauchery. He goes on to make a list of 13 virtues and starts tracking himself on those. Katy shares her perspective around how much to take on in a change initiative.

Katy refers to the song “Spoonful of sugar makes the medicine goes down” and speaks about how kids naturally warm up to the notion of doing something that seems like fun but adults sometimes don’t appreciate it enough. She goes on to say how we could think about combining activities to ensure that we increase the odds of doing it.

Katy speaks about what it takes to build a robust habit. She speaks about two archetypes – Flexible Fernando and Robust Rachels to illustrate the point. She goes on to say that Fernandos end up building a habit that’s likely to stick despite the vagaries of real life as compared to Rachels (any gender related themes are just a mere coincidence!). She expands on this topic here.

Katy speaks about one of the attributes of Dr Max Bazerman, her advisor (who has a track record of having several of his students in reputed colleges around the world) when she was a PhD student. She speaks about how he would behave when his students would often face a bump or deal with a rejection and come to him for advice. Katy says that rather than focusing on critiquing the work content, he would focus on encouraging the student, highly counterintuitive for a lot of us.

Katy speaks about Andre Agassi and the approach Brad Gilbert took with him when he was going through a slump. She says that Brad suggested that Andre would have to devise a strategy that’s specific to each opponent and come up with a tailored approach to win and this new approach helped Agassi climb back to the top and win many more tournaments. Katy suggests a similar approach to tackling behavioral change.

Tom speaks about the challenges we face in the unlearning process whenever we have spent a lot of time learning something. He speaks about a rocket scientist in Huntsville Alabama, who constructed a cycle with different movements to prove the point about how difficult it is to balance the cycle.

Ashley speaks about the notion of how we should outsource the task of staying productive to tools and apps that are out there and not leave it to the vagaries of our will power. She also speaks about how we should have a conversation with ourselves on why we might be reaching out to technology whenever we have a few residual moments to kill.