8 - Allowing Venting Vs Coaching - Ethan Kross on Chatter – The voice in our head

Ethan speaks about the role of his father in shaping his interests. He speaks about his father’s interest in the Bhagavad Gita and other elements of Easter Philosophy and how he would encourage Ethan to go inside to find the kernel of truth if something bad happens. He speaks about how some of that might have percolated down to him and his career choices.

Ethan defines the term Chatter. He uses Chatter as a term to capture the breadth of the different experiences all of which the common feature is looping over the negative thoughts, going down the rabbit hole, sucked into a vortex of negativity that won’t let you free.

Ethan speaks about the role of rituals in helping us manage chatter. He goes on to speak about how Champions like Rafael Nadal take the help of rituals in managing their mind when they play tennis at the highest level. He also speaks about the role of rituals in coping with transitions.

Ethan speaks about the line between having negative thoughts (which can help us move forward) and Negative Chatter that get us into an unproductive never-ending loop that can prevent us from making progress.

Ethan speaks about some of the strategies that he uses to manage Chatter. He speaks about effectively undertaking time travel and how we can ensure that while we undertake time travel, we don’t get stuck in the time machine. He also refers to the benefits of Nature in inducing Awe and the benefit of Distance self-talk.

Ethan suggests that our Mind is often functions like a lens when it looks at a situation while our Inner Voice functions like a Zoom button. We have a choice of whether we want to stay Zoomed In our Out when we deal with a situation.

Ethan speaks about how Journaling, more specifically, Expressive Writing can act as a distancing mechanism, provide closure and act as a meaning making mechanism to some of the Chatter we experience in our lives.

Ethan speaks about how we could be effective in helping people deal with Chatter. He suggests that while we need to play a role of empathizing and listening to allow the person to vent, we also need to consider providing some coaching or widening of their perspective so that they could move forward. He speaks about the few people that he calls Chatter Advisors that he turns to where he gets a healthy balance of listening and Sounding Board support when he experiences Chatter. He speaks about some of the characteristics that leads them to be on his Speed Dial.